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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23897086">I fell in love with your eyes and stayed to learn the stories behind them</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlemissmeep/pseuds/Littlemissmeep'>Littlemissmeep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Not alive but still breathing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angel!Yeosang, Angst, Blood, Dreams, Hospitals, Kind of Sweet, Other, angel of death type deal, angel!hongjoong, but only at the end, doctor!seonghwa, inbetween, kind of like purgatory I guess, like maybe overly descriptive, meaning not alive but not dead, there is a really sweet kissing scene, very descriptive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:53:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23897086</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlemissmeep/pseuds/Littlemissmeep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I woke up in a dark room where the air felt like fire, and the floor felt colder than ice. I was hyper aware of myself, the pulsing of blood through my body, making my fingers and neck almost numb to outside touch. My teeth had the feeling of chalk, dry and almost brittle. The flutter of my eyes felt like a jackhammer as I tried desperately to stay awake. However I couldn’t remember how I got here. After what felt like a year I managed to pull myself off the floor and stumble my way to a kitchen, if you could call it that, stalked only with bottles of water and raw meat. I couldn’t stop the shiver that traveled through my spine as I picked up a bottle and took a drink. It didn’t fix many of my problems, but at least it felt like I could breathe again. I turn to try to find my way out, but get distracted by a soft melody twinkle from down a hallway I could barely make out. I hold my breath and slowly make my way towards the noise.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Yeosang/Original Character(s), Kang Yeosang/Reader, Kang Yeosang/undescribed character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Not alive but still breathing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I fell in love with your eyes and stayed to learn the stories behind them</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a cold night in the middle of January, snow was already half way up my calf and it was still a flurry of sparkling white everywhere you’d try to look. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh as I bid the warmth of the steamed buns and the sweetness of over priced drinks farewell as I stepped into the cold. I managed to get only two steps out before feeling my fingers start to tingle. I quickly rub my hands together before tucking my hands into my pockets and deciding I should walk fast.</p><p>After a few minutes of feeling the frost cutting through the last warmth left in my face, I look up and see a soft haze of blue shining through the glitter of the storm and can’t stop myself from following it. Almost as though it was a siren and I was a sailor right before a storm. It was calling to me and beaconing me to follow it; sadly I gave in and that’s when the nightmare truly began. </p><p>I woke up in a dark room where the air felt like fire, and the floor felt colder than ice. I was hyper aware of myself, the pulsing of blood through my body, making my fingers and neck almost numb to outside touch. My teeth had the feeling of chalk, dry and almost brittle. The flutter of my eyes felt like a jackhammer as I tried desperately to stay awake. However I couldn’t remember how I got here. After what felt like a year I managed to pull myself off the floor and stumble my way to a kitchen, if you could call it that, stalked only with bottles of water and raw meat. I couldn’t stop the shiver that traveled through my spine as I picked up a bottle and took a drink. It didn’t fix many of my problems, but at least it felt like I could breathe again. I turn to try to find my way out, but get distracted by a soft melody twinkle from down a hallway I could barely make out. I hold my breath and slowly make my way towards the noise.</p><p>After what felt like hours, and my legs were screaming at me to stop, I reach a solid, dark wood door with a bunch of blue butterflies resting on it. Even though I’m in more pain than I ever have been, I can’t help but smile slightly at the calmness this door is bringing but something is telling me I have to disturb it, I have to make it to the other side of the door. I breathe in deep and slowly reach for the handle; once I start to push the door open, the butterflies fly up in a tornado of soft touches and a kaleidoscope of black and blues. I can’t help the giggle that bubbles out of my throat. After every butterfly flies away I continue my way into the room to be met with an almost glittery fog that seems to be backlit with a soft blue glow. A blue glow I feel familiar with, that I feel like I should have bad memories of, but I am overcome with the feelings of comfort and curiosity.</p><p>After a few moments of staring in wonder at the mist I remember what drew me to the room, and it wasn’t the spectacular blue hue that seems to seep out of every atom in the room. I gulp and walk through the mist and further into the room. I have to hold back a gasp when I see a sleek black piano that looks too new to be played, but then I see a boy at the piano and he’s clearly playing it. The whole whole room looks like a perfect scene out of a movie, and my brain is screaming at me to be on edge because movies are nothing like reality, but my heart and my body can’t find it in them to be anything besides tranquil.</p><p>The boy stops to look over at me and smile. For a moment I forget how to breathe. He is absolutely breathtaking, with the lighting I can’t make out much of his eyes but I can tell they’re deep. It appears they’ve seen a thousand souls pass before them, and in a way I guess we all have with the people we see in the street, but his eyes seem to have the depth to tell all of their stories and still have you begging for more. His hair is too dark to be called bubblegum but too light to be classified as anything close to red. It looks like childish dreams of cotton candy clouds or strawberry frosting mountains. His smile though, that’s something else. If I didn’t know better I’d assume he was a vampire, one strong enough to be able to use an allure to bring his victims to him, but new enough to not know how to fully hide his fangs, yet convince people they’re a normal human trait. He really was something else, something beautiful. I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head and motions for me to sit next to him. I nod because I don’t know if I actually have the strength to speak. </p><p>Once I’m sitting next to him I can see the piano is in better shape than I could have imagined. It looks as though it was just finished being put together. Once I’m done looking at the piano I can’t help but to look at him for directions and I see him still staring at me with a lightly fanged smile; it makes my body want to blush, but suddenly I’m not sure I have enough blood to. He nods in a way I can only describe as soft and places his hands back on the keys. His hands held a grace I’ve only seen from skilled dancers; I could see every muscle moving under the skin, lighter than caramel but darker than a peach, that is making the melody float into the air. The slight discoloration at each knuckle somehow helped to tell the story of the song being played. His nails, while not long, somehow gave the illusion of length, but you could tell that they didn’t really go past the fingers. </p><p>The longer he played the more my body and mind relaxed. I could feel my eyes gaining weight with each blink that was made. I tried to stifle any yawn I might have and I hear a soft laugh and I feel him move closer to me, so close in fact that we are practically pressed together. It felt like he was telling me it was okay to fall asleep so I give in and let the haze take over my body as I rest my head against his shoulder. I’m surprised by how comfortable it is and I fall asleep wondering how a button down with silver chains and leather can feel so much like a fuzzy blanket.</p><p>I wake up in less pain than I previously was, but still feeling aches in every part of my body. I sit up and look for the pink haired boy but I see nothing close to color. Everything is back to the full gray I saw when I woke yesterday. In less pain than yesterday I can take in a few more surroundings, such as a table that looks like it once held a colorful drawing of at least one child. I smile and try to trace a scribble with my finger before noticing how dry my throat still was. I walk slowly to the fridge and see that next to the water bottles is a gallon of milk and on the counter next to the fridge there are new glasses. I can’t help but smile and pour myself a glass before hearing the same tune from yesterday. I quickly finish and place the cup in the sink before running down the hall. </p><p>My legs still hurt once I reach the door, but not nearly as much as they did the last. I stop to take a deep breath and can’t help but notice the butterflies seem a little more purple and a lot less blue; I almost stop to take it in but then I remember the boy and I feel my heartbeat just a little bit harder and decide not to. I push open the door and the fog is still there, so I figure it was my mind playing tricks on me and quickly make my way farther into the room. </p><p>I open my mouth to speak but the boy quickly looks at me and shakes his head, so I close my mouth and nod as he pats the seat next to him. I don’t bother thinking to run or waste time looking at the piano and just decide to embrace his looks. I notice his hair is a lot lighter, and almost half blonde, but how am I supposed to question that when we’re not talking. I watch his face as he plays and if his happy face is breathtaking then his serious face is heart stopping. I have never seen a more beautiful sight then him concentrating, his jaw looked like it could cleanly cut glass, and his cheekbones seemed to have a story to tell themselves. </p><p>After watching him for a few minutes he looks at me and I freeze slightly embarrassed but he smiles wide enough to show his little fangs. I then feel him grab my hands and place them on the keys before laying his hands on top of them and gliding my fingers across the keys using his as a guide. I feel the warmth from his hands race from my hands to the top of my spine, and I wish I could remember more from that night.</p><p>The third day I wasn’t really in pain, but it was still really cold. I could feel slight aches but other than that I felt fine. I could see I was laying on a wood floor. I walked over to the kitchen, and found some fruit which brought me genuine joy, and made me realize how hungry I actually was. I guess not eating for two days is bound to make you really hungry though. After I eat I make my way back to the boys room. Once I got there I noticed a couple of things, first the butterflies were pink this time, the same pink that his hair was on the first day, and second my legs didn’t hurt at all from the walk down here. I smile and quickly run into the room before tripping and falling into his arms and I assume that talking is still off limits so I give him a soft apologetic smile and see his own smile take over his face. This time when I see his cute little pointy teeth I can’t help but picture them in a more intimate setting. </p><p>I notice the music is still playing, even though he’s not at the piano and try to look over but I feel his hands slide to my waist and hold me strongly against him. I sigh in relief, I didn’t realize how much I missed being touched. He starts to lead us in a slow dance and I can’t help but to look up at him. I’m surprised to see his eyes shining bluer than the ocean and his hair laying as a golden crown. His normal button up now a black sweater, and while this is all shocking, he doesn’t lose any of his beauty. We dance for what feels like hours before he holds eye contact with me. We continue and I feel like his eyes are writing down my story, and then suddenly he’s leaning in and I can’t help but follow him, like always. His lips are soft against mine, and while most things about him I could relate to being childish, he kissed better than anyone I ever met. I now knew he wasn’t a vampire, his bites were far too soft. He was more human than anyone I have ever met, and he makes me feel more alive than I ever have.</p><p>The fourth day I woke up on a couch, I couldn’t feel any pain. I was almost convinced I was better. I looked around and saw I was in a rather plain looking home. I quickly got up and go to grab a water out of the fridge, and when I got there I realize there are enough ingredients to make a salad so I happily make one. I eat as fast as I can and then hurry down the hall to the door now covered with orange butterflies, but think nothing of it as I start to push my way into the room.</p><p>“Just be careful Yeosang.” I hear a voice, the first voice in almost a week, say as I finally manage to step into the room. I see a slight pink light fading next to the boy, who now has brown hair, and matching brown eyes. He’s wearing another new outfit, a black suit, and he smiles as warmly and invitingly at me as always and gestures me towards the piano. I softly chuckle at the familiarity of the situation as I take a seat and he follows. I hear him take a deep breath before placing his fingers on the keys and starting to play.</p><p>Something horrible happens a moment later. It starts with his nails getting a little wobbly but soon enough they fall off leaving almost purple marks on the top of his fingers. I gasp and glance at his face for any pain, and like the second day he’s completely straight faced. I quickly pull his hands away from the piano to try and make sure he’s okay and he offers me a sad smile as he pulls me up to dance. I wish I didn’t let him lead. This isn’t a moment for him to be taking care of me. I look up at his face and see him already staring at him. I can’t help but lean in to kiss him, but I’m shocked by the taste of blood. I pull away and see dark red blood running down his chin. I feel my heart stop for a moment. I reach up to touch it, and he lets me, but all I can feel is a sticky warmth and bone. I feel water start to build up behind my eyes, but he still smiles at me, or at least tries to. I lay my head on his chest to listen to his heart beat.</p><p>We danced like it was our last night, for him it might have actually been his last night, we danced longer than we did the night before. We danced until he collapsed and I fell into his pile of blood and bones. I felt myself sobbing, but I couldn’t hear or feel anything else. I leaned forward and layer kisses on every piece of skin that I could find, not caring how much blood I got on my clothes or skin or in my mouth, just knowing I wanted him to feel loved. I continued this until I couldn’t find anymore skin then I collapsed over him and cried harder than I ever have before. I cried hard enough I forgot how to breathe and long enough I forgot all emotions. I still remembered his body pressed against mine, I remembered his hands guiding mine, I remembered the kisses and his focus on me as he disintegrated in front of me. I think that’s the most painful part. I close my eyes hard and then open them, hoping it wasn’t real, but the only difference I find is a white rose, covered in blood, laying where his heart should be. I pick it up and stare at it, not having the energy to be amazed.</p><p>I woke up back on that couch, with a blanket on me, in that old house. It was old enough for most colors to fade, leaving it almost black and white. I quickly get up and don’t bother going to the kitchen, but I run back to that room and get to the center as fast as I can. The piano is still there in its shiny black glory, but the boy is gone. I sit and start to play the song he taught me, a song I can never forget, when suddenly a boy with bubblegum pink hair appears. He’s shorter than the boy I know, having someone here is at least a slight comfort.</p><p>“You should really eat something.” He whispers sitting on top of the piano and placing a vase with that single rose down in front of me. I nod and quickly hug the flower to my chest feeling the tears building in my body again. “I’m sorry for your loss, but we’re not allowed to get close to people.” I shrug in reply to his talking, not really caring. I hope he doesn’t regret anything because I don’t. It was less than a week, but it was more emotion than I have ever felt in my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel again, but maybe I can survive on the memory. I’ll never see him again, and I will have to learn to live with it. </p><p>“I’m Hongjoong and I will take you back now, just take my hand.” The boy smiles and it’s so bright it’s blinding. I don’t want to trust him, his skin’s almost the same color as the other, but his eyes are like hot fudge but somehow less inviting then Yeosang’s, at least I think that was his name. He’s pretty but almost in the wrong ways. He didn’t hold the same effect. He didn’t make me want to stay. He didn’t have the presents that makes me trust him, but looking at his hand, while smaller and a little less showy in regards to motions, I knew I had to take it. I reach out and grab his hand but his touch feels wrong. “Yeosang, he really liked you.” The boy speaks up as I feel myself slowly drifting off.</p><p>I woke up in a completely white room. It smelled of chemicals meant to keep things clean. I slowly look around and see bright, almost firetruck, red hair which makes me gasp a little bit. The red head turns around and I’m surprised by his galaxy like eyes, almost completely black but full of sparkles. He’s trying to speak but I can’t quite make out what he’s saying, yet I notice how full his lips are. I then notice another man walk into the room, his hair as black as coal and his eyes appear as though they could freeze you on spot. All I can do is stare blankly at them and then I look back to where the red head was originally standing and gasp again at what was next to the bouquet of white roses. I then see the two guys walk over to the flowers and when one tries to hand me the white roses I shake my head. The black haired one picks up a single vase with a white and red splattered rose and I reach my hand out to take it.</p><p>“Yeosang.” I can’t stop myself from speaking out the name that feels engraved on my heart. Although since I’m in the hospital maybe none of it ever happened. It felt so real though, his touch, his kiss, his heartbeat.</p><p>“I haven’t heard that name in years.” One of the men speaks up and I almost give myself whiplash to look at them. </p><p>“His family sends flowers to anyone who gets put in this room.” The redhead then speaks and pulls out a photo which I’m quick to grab. I can’t control my sobs once I see the face I grew accustomed to seeing. “How’s he doing?” He asks, sounding oddly hopeful, and how do I explain I just watched the boy he gave me a photo of melt away into a pile of bloody bones and a rose? I just nod and cry harder, hopeful he will move on. </p><p>“I’m sorry about Mingi, you should get some rest. I’m your doctor, Seonghwa, call me if you need anything.” The black haired boy speaks up after shooing the other out of the room. He then nods and leaves. </p><p>I’m left alone to think about a love story I never had. A boy who knew how to do a siren's song without moving his mouth. As odd as it sounds, as I was falling asleep again, I swore I tasted blood and felt those teeth in my lip again.</p>
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